The Places You Have Come To Fear The Most
by Mrs. Hotchner-Wolfe
Summary: Inspired by the song by Dashboard Confessional. When a case comes up for the BAU, Alexandria Sullivan must face her past and fears. Slight bio to get some stuff out of my system. Hope you enjoy! Rating may change
1. Validation

**Ok… Revised version of 'The Places You Have Come To Fear The Most.' This is a bio type story just to get some stuff out of my system so enjoy!**

Alexandria Sullivan stared at the man underneath her. Derek Morgan was standing right next to her. The rest of the team were on their way.

"There're reasons why you should never under estimate a woman. You hear me, you son of a bitch?" The pure hatred in her voice shocked her, so much so that she let go of the rapist and fell backwards. Rossi ran up to her, while Reid and Hotch helped Morgan hold down the Unsub.

Rossi helped her up."Are you alright, Kiddo?"

Lex nodded. Her head was throbbing and her shoulder where she'd been whacked in the shoulder moments before hurt with a plank of wood hurt like hell, but she knew she would live.

Aaron Hotchner walked up to her. "What happened?"

"It's my fault… you told me and Derek to wait and I refused, not him… He came to protect me…We came up, guns drawn… he was standing right there. He caught me off guard, rammed a plank into my shoulder and took off. I got an adrenaline rush and caught up to him before Morgan did. I tackled and we went down… And here we are! I'm sorry." Disapproval from Aaron Hotchner was not on her wish list for many reasons.

The case started off the same as any other… another killer, targeting women. As time went on he escalated and his killings got more gruesome. His age target lowered. What had started out with him killing middle aged women, ended with him torturing, raping and killing teenagers. Lex felt disgusted when they found a teenager just thrown off a building.

Hotch turned from her, listening into his earpiece. He turned back to her. "Prentiss and JJ have the girl. She's safe." Lex sighed slowly. Rossi patted her on the back and she looked up in time to catch a small smile on his face. She returned it, and promised never to forget this feeling when the job got too tough as she watched the unsub being dragged out.

She went to the hospital alone, had her arm checked out and was told she was fine. She got in her car and drove back to the BAU. She went there for one reason: Aaron Hotchner.

She walked in and was glad to find that he as still there. She knocked on his door. "Can I come in?"

"Yeah…"

Lex walked in and stood in front of his desk. "I'm sorry… I disobeyed your orders and I potentially put my life, and Morgan's, and the girl's, in danger. And I'm sorry." She stared at him, trying to gauge a reaction. "I've grown up following orders, doing what I was told and behaving and, you need to know, that when I break away from doing that, it's because I believe it's the right thing to do." She took a deep breath. "But I need your approval… otherwise this is going to be eating away at me for a really long time." She stood there, waiting.

Hotch put his pen down. "Lex, we all, every one of us, at one point or more, has broken the rules. And the outcome hasn't always been what we'd want." He nodded. "I trust now, and always will, your judgement." Lex nodded and smiled.

"Thank you…" She left Hotch to wonder why she so badly needed the little piece of validation.


	2. Loving Talks

Lex walked into her darkened house and continued on a three year routine: come home, turn on light, check messages, have a beer, get changed, do some work and go to bed. So she turned on the lights and checked her messages.

"You have three unheard messages." There was a long beep.

The first message was her mother. "Hi Sweetie… I know you're probably at work right now but just thought I'd call to check up on you… Evie got engaged… Please come home soon… Love you."

The next message was Lex's boyfriend. He was not happy. "Lex, it's me. You said you'd call. What the hell happened? Look I'll be in DC next week… CALL ME!"

The final message was Lex's older sister, Lianne. "Lexi, it's Lee…. Andrew and I just got into big fight." _Again? _"I don't know what to do. Please call me. I need your help."

Lex only had the intention of calling one person back.

"Hello?"

"Hey, mom."

"Lexi! Sweetie, oh, I've missed you! How are you, honey?"

"Tired… frustrated… angry…" Lex laughed to herself. "How bout you?"

"Oh sweets, Eve's fiancé is lovely. He's a chef… well, a chef in training."

"And she's happy?"

"Very!" Eve wasn't one of Lex's four sisters but close enough. She had been a friend for years. "She'll be in DC at the end of the week… She wants to meet you for dinner… Can I give her your number?"

"Yep. What happened with Lee and Andrew?"

"Oh the usual. She wants to live here, he wants to live there. She doesn't want to get married yet, they both want kids… Don't think about it, pet."

_Good old mom, always trying to protect me. _"Have you seen Sean lately?"

A moments hesitation. "He's been busy at the office… Sweetie… you still there?"

"He, um… he left me a message. He was angry because I've been busy at work… I was supposed to call him."

"Sweetie, you should do what's best for you."

"You never really liked him."

"That's not true."

"Mama, it's getting late, I should go."

"I love you."

"Love you too." Lex hung up.


	3. Dinner Revelations

**Dinner Revelations**

Lex pounded at Morgan's gloved hands, releasing a week of pent up aggression. Morgan beat down walls, JJ counselled grieving mothers, Garcia counselled grieving victims, Reid read, Emily studied Russian literature, Hotch played with his son, and Rossi smoked cigars. Lex pushed herself to her limit, attacking a kickboxing bag for hours on end, tackling the academy's training course to set a new personal best, waking up at four in the morning to race out to Quantico and then back again to shower and get ready for work.

Lex felt a push against the back of her legs and realised she was in the air and falling. The pain didn't hit immediately, put when it did, she was at eye level to a smiling Derek Morgan.

"The motto, Lex, 'Always be prepared'." He reached his hand out and helped her up.

"That's the boy scouts, you idiot."

Morgan just shrugged. "It's mine too." He handed her a bottle of water. "You good?"

"It's Friday. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, for someone who's boyfriend is in the city this weekend, you don't seem to happy."

Lex looked down. "He rang me yesterday. I thought I'd be working this weekend… He wasn't happy about it. We got into a fight. I don't have the energy to tell him not to come." Lex finished off the water. "I'm gonna grab a shower. I'll meet you upstairs.

* * *

After the shower, Lex took a detour. She walked quietly into the classroom and listened to the end of the class. "

"Always… ALWAYS attempt negotiation. No matter what the profile says, you always want the victim to be safe." David Rossi smiled at the young recruits and his eyes fell on Lex. "Isn't that right, Agent Sullivan?"

Lex nodded in agreement. "Yep. And when that doesn't work, just threaten 'em a little with your best friend." She patted her holster.

Lex and Dave walked through the hall at a official speed. "Use your gun?"

"What? When all else fails what do you use? Wit? You ain't got any."

"That hurt."

"Sorry."

David Rossi pressed the button labelled 6 on the control panel in the elevator. "Any plans for the night?"

"Dinner. My friends in town and she's getting engaged so I agreed to go to dinner with her. You?"

"Oh, the usual. Reid, Morgan and I are treating Emily to a few rounds and Keanes'."

Lex frowned. "What's Hotch gonna be doing?"

"Probably taking care of Jack." They reached the floor and parted ways.

* * *

Lex checked her earrings for the last time as she walked into the restaurant. Her little black dress was classy and sophisticated, just the way Lex liked it,and her hair half-up half-down.

She looked around when the Maitre'd walked up to her. "May I help you, ma'am?"

"I'm supposed to be meeting someone."

"Your name?"

"Alexandria. Sullivan. My friend's name is Eve."

The man smiled warmly and gestured for her to follow. Lex took a deep breath. She'd have some trouble explaining why she was alone.

Lex pulled herself out of her thoughts as the maitre'd slowed down.

"Lessie!" A familiar voice caused her to look around and she soon saw little Jack Hotchner beaming up at her from a table directly in front of them. Lex looked and saw Hotch staring at her, a smile curling on to his lips. Lex apologised to the maitre'd stepped in front of him and hurried up to Jack. She kneeled in front of him.

"Hi," she said quietly and gave him a kiss on the cheek. She looked up. "Hi."

"Hi," Hotch replied. He looked in shock. "How are you?"

Lex laughed. "I'm meeting a friend for dinner… I think I'm running kinda late an--"

"Ohmigod! Lex!" Lex turned to the direction of the squeal. A woman a few years older then she grinned as she hurried over to her. Lex let go of Jack and embraced her friend.

"Congratulations." Lex pulled away.

"This is Sean." She gestured to the man sitting next to Aaron and grinned. Lex waved. "And his brother Aaron."

Lex smiled at Hotch. "We've met." She turned to Eve. "You need to breathe."

"I haven't seen you in weeks… and I'm so happy."

Sean smiled. "She is. She hasn't stopped smiling since I asked her."

Both girls sat down. Jack grinned widely when Lex sat next to him. He rested his head on her arm. She bent her head low to him. "How you doing kiddo?" she asked Jack, oblivious to Hotch's eyes.

"Bored," he muttered.

Hotch frowned. "Jack," he said sternly.

Lex looked up at Hotch then back down at Jack. "Hey. You ain't the only big kid here anymore."

Jack clung to her all night. He begged her to take him out for air when he felt sick. She agreed gladly and, when they returned, Jack was smiling and as happy as before.

Toward the end of the night, Sean and Eve were dancing, and Hotch watched as Lex played 'Rock, Paper, Scissors' with Jack. Before long, Jack was curled up in her arms, sleeping, his tiny fingers deep into her skin for fear of being separated from her.

Lex looked out and watched her friend. "He adores you."

Lex looked over and smiled. "I had him from, 'Hello'."

"I think it was more like 'Hi'." Lex laughed. "He's an amazing little boy, I if I may say so myself."

"He is… You should be proud."

"If you don't mind my asking but, have you ever thought about it?" Lex frowned. "Parenthood."

"You'd be a good mom someday."

"Someday. Maybe."

"You and, uh, Sean, is it?" Lex nodded. "You two in different places right now?"

Aaron frowned. Lex had frozen, her face grew hard. "Or very much in the same place." Her face grew red and tears came to her eyes.

Aaron followed her gaze and standing in the middle of the dance floor, with a woman's lips against his, Aaron recognised Lex's boyfriend.

**AN: Was I ok? Or was there too much here? Let me know**


	4. Helping Hand

**Helping hand.**

Lex came back to consciousness. She couldn't open her eyes, but she could feel the late August sun hitting her face. She felt her head thumping. She tried to stretch but her leg but her foot made contact with a wall. She groaned. Inhaling deeply, she smelled cologne. She realised something. She was not in her own apartment. She sensed a presence in the room, then almost immediately, she heard running.

She groaned, feeling around for a weapon.

"I got rid of any dangerous objects from beside the bed because Jack would get nightmares and wake up looking for something he could hit someone with."

Lex covered her eyes and opened them, then slowly moved her hand down. Hotch was crouching beside the bed, smiling. "You drool in your sleep." He grabbed a tissue and wiped the side of her face.

Lex frowned. "We didn't... Did we?"

Hotch shook his head. "No. I'm sure you would have remembered if we had." He handed her a cup of coffee.

Lex tried to smile but couldn't. "So what did happen?"

"What's the last thing you remember?" Lex winced. "Right, well, you gave Jack to me and then went to the bar. I figured you were a smart girl and you'd come to your senses, but after your... fifth _double_-scotch I realised that that wasn't going to happen so I grabbed you and Jack and brought you back here."

"Did I... did I speak to him?"

"I don't think so... You got lost in the crowd a few times, but other then that I had my eyes on you at all times." Hotch looked to where her bag was. "If he..."

"Don't I don't want to speak to anyone. I feel stupid." She looked past Hotch's shoulder to the street outside.

"You're not... Just in love."

"We met in high school. We were really good friends. I told him I liked him and he didn't feel the same way. Then my friend publicly humiliated me and I went to college... We met up again a few years ago and..."

"Don't put yourself through it. It won't do you any good. Do you want some aspirin?" Lex nodded. Hotch left the room and in a few minutes, he was back with a couple of aspirin and a glass of water.

"Are you feeling better?"

Lex shook her head. Hotch did the only thing that felt right. He placed his hand around her head and pulled her close to him until her breathing steadied. "I'm sorry I'm such a mess."

"Don't be sorry. Do you want to take a shower and I can run over to your place and get you a change of clothes."

"No... I can't ask you to do that."

"You're not asking."

A small set of footsteps entered the house and Hotch bent down and picked up Jack. "Lessie!"

Lex gave him a big hug. "How you doin' kid?"

"Did you sleep, k?" Lessie nodded and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"You want to go for a drive buddy."

Jack nodded. "Is Lessie coming with us?"

"No... but I'll be here when you guys get back."

"We gotta go and get Lex some stuff. Go get your hat."

"He can take some books if he wants."

"Thanks."

Hotch turned to leave the room. "You don't have to do this."

He turned back. "You slept in a dress, which couldn't have been comfortable; you spilt drink all over you; and you've been crying. Get washed up."


	5. A Word of Advice

**A Word Of Advice**

The car drive took less then fifteen minutes. Jack had his window down the whole time, letting the refreshing Autumn air into the car. Hotch frowned when he pulled into the driveway alongside a pale blue Toyota.

Jack looked at his dad as they walked to the front door. "I tought Lessie drove a changing car."

"So did I, buddy." He looked down at Jack and smiled. "Musta gotten a new one."

"I liked the old one."

"Considering the way you were when we drove here, I bet you did."

He lifted his son up so the boy could stick the key in the lock and open the door. The curtains were pulled apart and the window were open. Aaron walked into the house, holding Jack tightly.

"Lex?" a male voice called from behind the counter. Sean stood up. Aaron felt furious.

He put Jack down on the floor. "Buddy, Lex said you can grab a book, ok? You know where to go." Jack nodded happily and hurried into an adjoining room.

"Who are you?"

Hotch's fists clenched. "Aaron." He strode down the hall and entered a room. He sighed a breath of relief when he realised it was Lex's bedroom. He opened her wardrobe.

"And what are you doing in Lex's house?"

"She asked me to stop by and pick up a change of clothes for her." He grabbed a sweater, a tank top and a pair of jeans, figuring anything else might be inappropriate.

"Why would my girlfriend ask you to pick her up a change of clothes?"

Hotch scoffed. "Your girlfriend? That's not what she was saying last night. Actually…" Hotch looked over at Sean and smirked. "She wasn't saying much last night." To be safe, Hotch also grabbed her go bag. "Jack," Hotch called. "Oh, and, ah, by the way, I know about you. Don't ever come near Lex. Again."

Jack walked into the room. "I gots a book." Jack held the book under his arm.

Hotch saw a chance to rub it in. "Do you wanna head home and see if Lessi will read some for you?" Jack nodded eagerly and Hotch smiled. He turned back to Sean. "Like I said: Stay away from her!"


	6. Lunchin'

Aaron left her bag in the bedroom and he prepared lunch and Jack sat at the kitchen table reading the book he borrowed from Lex. Lex was hugging herself when she walked out of the bedroom and into the kitchen, wearing the purple sweater and jeans Hotch picked up for her and the boots she was wearing last night.

"Hi." Jack jumped from his seat and ran up to her.

"Hi," she said back.

"Hi."

"Hi."

"Hi," Hotch interrupted. "Stay for lunch?"

"Oh, I should go."

"C'mon. We can eat outside." He grabbed the plate of sandwiches, chips and dips while Lex surrendered and carried Jack out. Jack talked for the bones of an hour. Both Hotch and Lex were surprised when he decided to go play on the slide.

"This place is really amazing." Lex looked around. "Incredible view, nice neighbourhood, great backyard."

Hotch chuckled. "I have a confession to make." He poured Lex some more Lemonade. "When I went by your place, I had a run in with your… well, I won't lie… Dirtbag."

"Oh god."

"I told him not to come near you anymore."

"Oh, you shouldn't have done that."

"I'm sorry. I just… you've been so miserable lately and I wanted to see you happy. Jack needs to see you happy."

"You shouldn't have had to. But thank you." Lex eyed him for a little longer. She put her head in her hands. "What did you do?"

"Nothing… I just told him that you didn't do much talking last night. Given, I didn't say it was because you were drunk." Lex smiled. "He won't bother you anymore. Unless you want him to."

Lex shook her head. She turned her head toward Jack. "Remember how simple life was as a kid? You didn't care what people thought about you; you were outgoing and wanted to live life and socialise… Now all I wanna do next week is work and sleep."

"Huh, when I was a kid, I wanted to play in the river below the house… It was… very muddy." He laughed at the memory. "To say the least."

Lex laughed. "Me too! God, I used to love the summer."

"But then you had to get all the school stuff and go back to school."

"You know, every year, without fail, 'Death on the Nile' would be on and I'd always...every year... miss the first fifteen minutes. I never saw the start of it until I left home."

"You're kidding? That's a classic."

"Ok." She leaned foreward. "It's not my fault I could prioritise." She heard Jack squeal and looked back. "He's a great kid."

"Hm. He really is. He loves you."

Lex smiled. "I get to let out my inner child." A few minutes of pure silence before Lex made any movement. "I should be going."

"We'll walk you."

Lex stood. "You don't have to. It's at least a thirty minute walk."

"Jack!" He turned back to the table and started cleaning up. "He can use the walk."

Lex scoffed. "You mean you could use the walk... Oldie." Hotch grabbed a rolled up napkin and threw it at Lex.

Jack ran up the two adults. "Can I bring my bike?"

"Sure, buddy."

When Lex walked into the house and had gotten over her fit of the giggles that Jack had gotten her into, she suddenly felt lonely.


	7. Worries Voiced

**Party**

Lex looked at herself in the mirror, wearing a yellow sundress. She hadn't set out to buy anything. It was Sunday, a week after the eventful diner, and the day of Jack Hotchner's birthday, and she had wanted to take her mind off her 'dirtbag' boyfriend and decided that some window shopping would be the best thing to do.

She did a twirl in front of the mirror and found her mind wandering more then it should. She shook her head and checked the price. She _did _need a new dress for Jack's birthday. She began to wonder if..? She shook her head. _Don't even think about it._

* * *

She walked up to the front door with Jack's gift in her arm, wearing her new sundress. She felt her heart start to beat faster and her breathing becoming restricted as she knocked on the door and waited. She flicked her hair over her shoulder and smiled. The door opened and Rossi greeted her. Her face fell.

"Hey, kiddo, you ok?" She nodded. "You look great... Jack's a very lucky boy. So far, all the girl's have dressed up just for him... Well, you and Jessica."

"Well, it's a milestone… Where're Hotch and the birthday boy?" she asked casually. Rossi stretched out his hand and led Lex to the kitchen, where Hotch and Jessica were putting finishing touches to the cake, laughing.

Hotch looked up. "Hi." He walked over to Lex.

"Hi. Hi, Jessica."

"Hey, Lex," she greeted, smiling.

"You look great," Hotch said. Lex smiled.

"Thank you. Ah, this is for Jack." She held out the small wrapped gift. "It's just small."

"Lessi!" Jack ran in and wrapped his arms round her legs.

"Hi." She bent down to eye level. "Happy Birthday." She handed him the present. "It's from me and Garcia."

Hotch smiled. "What do you say?"

"Thank you." Jack meekly took the present and looked up at Hotch. "Cans I open it now?" Hotch nodded and the boy fell to the floor, legs crossed and began tearing at the paper. "Aw, cool." Jack held up the video game to show his dad. He looked at Lex, smiling. "Cans we play later?"

"Sure... If you're not too tired."

Jack shook his head and ran off out to the back yard.

"Alright... What's going out?" Hotch asked. Jessica pointed to two plates of sandwiches.

"I can take those out," Lex offered.

Hotch made a face. "No, relax, have a drink."

"I don't mind."

"Ok... uh, you'll see the tables."

Lex took a plate in each hand and headed out. As she walked to the table she saw Jack, sitting on the swings. She placed the plates on the table and walked over to him.

"Hi." He looked up at her and then immediately back down again. "Can I sit here?" He nodded. "You ok?" He nodded. "Cause for a kid whose birthday it is today, you don't seem it." Jack looked up. "You want to tell what's the matter?" Jack shook his head. "I might be able to help. Or do you want me to tell your daddy that something's wrong?"

"I miss my mom."

Lex looked straight ahead. She hadn't known Haley all that well. Hotch had loved her and she was a good mother to Jack. From what she heard, Haley was a good person. "That's normal, to feel that way… on your birthdays, Christmas… It'll get… less painful."

"Tha's what daddy said."

"So…?"

"Well, Daddy said to Mr. Morgan that he thinks he needs a new lady in his life."

"That can't have been easy to hear."

Jack shook his head. "Not that… but aunt Jess reads me stories and the daddy always marries the new lady and the new lady is mean to the children." He jumped off the swing and buried his head in her lap.

Lex stroked his head. "But, Jack, they're not always mean… A lot of the time they're nice. "

"But what if she's not."

Lex pulled him onto her lap. "Remember your nanny, the really mean one?"

"Yeah.""And when your dad found out how mean she was he got rid of her, remember?"

"Yeah.""Jack. You're dad would move heaven and hell for you. He wouldn't let anyone into your lives' that you didn't want. You know that, right?"

Jack nodded. "I guess so."

"Yeah. So do you wanna go inside and watch a movie before your big party begins?" Jack nodded. "Ok."

He took her hand and gave her a big hug, whispering a, 'Thanks', into her dress.

Hotch intercepted them and he smiled as Jack broke away from Lex. "Is he alright?"

"Yeah…" Took a step towards him and lowered her voice. "Can I talk to you about something after the party?"

"About Jack?"Lex nodded. "Trust me, it can wait until after the party. Just have a good time."


	8. Awkward

Lex sat on the steps of the deck, watching the groups of people she'd slowly pulled away from. Hotch was the common denominator of all the grown ups and flitted from the BAU to his family to friends to other parents. Then there was Jack, the common denominator of all the groups, grown ups and children alike running all around the place, trying to be the best birthday boy. Lex took a swig of her soda from the bottle and glanced at her phone. She dialled voicemail and listened to the recording, not noticing Penelope Garcia creep up behind her.

"What's up, princess?" Lex looked up and smiled, squinting through the sun. "I'm clairvoyant."

Lex made a blank face. "Who?"

Garcia went to swat her and sat on the step next to her. "Want to talk to Aunty Pen?"

Lex pulled out her phone again and put it on speaker.

"_You have 1 old voice message."_

"_Lex, it's me. Can you please call me? We need to talk things out… Like, um, what I was doing that night, and what you're doing with some old man. Please call me. I miss you."_

Garcia stared at her. "Two questions: What old man and why have you not deleted that message?"

"The 'old man' is Hotch. He went by my place to pick me up some clothes and ran into Sean and…" She moved her hand in front of her face to block the sun.

Garcia raised an eyebrow. "Really? No… We'll get back to that. Delete it."

"Maybe he has a good explanation."

"You mean a clever one… There is no way he can justify kissing another woman."

"I know…"

"So? What's the problem?"

Lex frowned. She didn't know. "He's my boyfriend."

"So…"

"So, we've been together for twelve years… Since I was fifteen."

"And in fifteen years, he has accumulated so much respect for you that he cheats on you when he's supposed to be visiting you." Lex looked at the ground. "He's not worth the turmoil and the pain… You deserve someone who cares enough about you to… To go to your home and pick up clothes for you while you're staying at his place because your boyfriend cheated on you?" she suggested. "Maybe, if a little boy who just so happens to be crazy about you is thrown in? Bonus?"

Lex laughed. "You're very funny. Absolutely hilarious."

"Oh." Garcia looked over Lex's shoulder. "Speak of the angelic devil."

Lex looked behind her and smiled up at Hotch. "Hello, ladies. You having a good time?"

"It's bopping."

Hotch chuckled. "Thank you…" He looked at Garcia. "Can I ask you a favor?"

"Absolutely."

"Can I borrow Lex off you for just a minute?"

Garcia looked at Lex. "I think I can manage that…" She stood up as Hotch moved toward the kitchen. "Maybe my premonition is coming true…" She winked and walked over to JJ and Emily.

"What premonition?" Hotch asked as he took Lex's empty soda bottle from her and handed her a new one.

"You don't want to know." She ran a hand through her hair. "So what's up?"

"What was wrong with Jack?"

"He's fine… I thought I told you to relax and enjoy the party."

"I'm too busy worrying about my son."

Lex took a deep breath. "It's not really my place and I don't fell completely comfortable with mentioning this to you, but… Jack overheard a conversation you had… with Morgan… about you getting a new… 'lady friend.'" Hotch closed his eyes. "He's just a smart kid, who reads a lot of stories… some about evil step moms and he's just…"

"Shit!" Hotch exclaimed. "He was never supposed to know about that." He looked at Lex. "Look, Morgan, Rossi and Reid were here, and we were having a few drinks, and Morgan and Rossi asked Reid if there was anyone in his life and then they started talking about the last time they'd…" He made hand gestures. Lex nodded, understanding he didn't want to explain _everything _to her. "And they turned on me. And they asked me the last time I'd met anyone new, with 'potential' - as Rossi likes to put it - and I told them and they started interrogating me and I ended up admitting that… yeah, I'd like to meet someone new. Someone I can have fun with at home and away from home and… Jack was never supposed to know... I tried to steer away from the topic as fast as I could but they're like dogs with bones when they want to be... Shit--"

Lex pulled her hair over her shoulder. "Hotch…"

"Yeah."

"I probably should have said this at the start, but… You don't have to explain anything… It's not my place…"

"Jack has to know I would never let anyone hurt him… He has to."

"He does… He just-- He knows people are good at fooling others."

Hotch shook his head. "Shit, Lex, what do I do?"

Lex turned for the door. "I really don't know… I."

"Hey, sorry to interrupt," Jessica walked in. She looked from Lex to Hotch.

_Thank you, Jessica. _"You're not interrupting anything," Lex said. She turned back to Hotch as she walked out to the back yard. "Hotch, I really hope it works out for you… I really do."


	9. Dinner

"Can I speak to you for a second?"

Lex looked up. "Yeah." She followed him into the conference room. "What's up?"

Hotch sat on the desk and held a case file in his hand. "A case came by my desk: It's, uh, in a small area… They've never seen crime… Now they've had three murders in four months, a series of thefts, arson attacks and rapes."

"Can they describe the attackers?"

"No…But… How would you proceed?"

"Check all the crime scenes and see if they are connected… see if it's the same guy."

"Good. Then what?"

"Look for patterns… See what come when: if it's escalation or de-escalation…" Hotch nodded, barely listening, already knowing the answer, and not looking at Lex. Lex noticed it. "So, did I pass?" she asked, not giving him a full profile.

Hotch looked up and flashed her one of his rare smiles. "Yes, you did."

"Are you alright?"

"Hm? Yeah, fine." Lex nodded and moved towards the door. "Uh, Lex?" She spun around. "You come from a small town right?"

Lex scoffed. "That doesn't cover it. Population of about five thousand."

"Did you like it?"

Lex shook her head. "Not really… Glad I got out. Why?"

"Just wondering."

* * *

Lex packed her bag slowly, waiting to see if he'd leave before she did.

Emily walked past her and nodded to Hotch's office. "Man, he needs a break."

"Yeah… Later."

"Night."

Lex was alone in the bullpen. She shouldered her bag and climbed the steps to Hotch's office, knocking on the door.

"Come in." Lex did. Hotch, who was on the phone, beckoned her further into the room. Lex looked at him: his sleeves were rolled up, his tie was loosened, his shirt creased and he looked pale.

"Of course, ma'am," he said into the phone and hung up. He looked at his watch and groaned. He looked at Lex. "Sorry."

"It's alright. I just came up to say goodnight. I'm heading home." She smiled.

"Have a good weekend."

"Go home, Hotch. You look wrecked."

"Lex… uh, Jack's going to be asleep by the time I get home, so there's really no point rushing and I haven't eaten since lunch so, um… Would you like to get some food?"

Lex nodded. "Yeah…"

* * *

They had a good time. She liked seeing him like this. He laughed and talked freely with her and joked around with her without worrying about keeping up his pretences of stern, stoic and cold. Before desserts came, Lex felt that, out of everyone on the team, she was the one he had let see him smile most. There were a few times when he faltered, when she became uncomfortable, but when conversation was directed away from those topics, things were better.

He drove her back to Quantico, to get her car and walked her to it.

Lex smiled up at him. "Thank you for food."

"Thank you for company… It's nice having grown up talk again."

"Yeah…" She bit her lip and wrapped her arms around herself as a cool breeze hit her shoulders. "I should get going."

"Me too." He leaned over to open the driver's door for her. Misinterpreting it, she leaned in and pressed her lips to his cheek. They both froze, not exactly sure what to do. Lex could feel herself blushing, feel the red rising to her face. Then she felt his cheek pull away from hers. What surprised her was that in a second, his lips hit hers. They froze again, eyes wide and staring at each other, realising what they were doing. Hotch was the first to relax. He closed his eyes and put his arms loosely around her waist. A few seconds later, Lex did the same, except moving her arms around his neck.

They smushed their lips around for a while but went no further. Hotch pulled away. "I should go," he whispered, his lips brushing against her ear. Lex nodded. He brushed his lips against hers quickly. "Goodnight."


	10. Confidante

Hotch took his time walking to from his car to the house. His head was spinning, his tongue sneaking subconsciously onto his lips, tasting her banana lip balm. Reliving the moment in his head. He quietly stepped into the house, assuming that Jessica crashed in the guest room. He was wrong. She was channel surfing when he got home and looked at him with raised eyebrows.

He hesitated. "Hi…" He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and understood the greeting. He had taken his jacket, tie and shirt off before going into the restaurant with Lex, leaving only his tee shirt on. Realising what took place while he was wearing this shirt and who was touching it, he swore he would never again wash this shirt.

"What's up with you?" she snapped.

Hotch was taken aback. "I… Is everything alright?"

"Yeah… there's food in the oven."

"I've already eaten."

"Jack was upset. We thought you'd be back earlier."

"Yeah… there was a large workload and I worked through dinner so I grabbed some food with… a friend… before I came home." He and Lex had kissed: did they constitute as friends now?

"A call would have been nice." She stood up and walked into the kitchen, filling a glass of water.

"How long has he been down for?"

"A while." Hotch walked towards Jack's room. "You'll wake him."

"Tomorrow's Saturday. Does it matter?" He sat next to Jack for fifteen minutes. He listened as the little boy sleepily talked about his day and affectionately held onto his hand. Hotch finally convinced him to fall back to sleep.

"Do you want to hear something funny?" Jessica asked him.

"Always."

"Jack was asking me when Lex was coming over again." Hotch smiled. Jessica scoffed. "You're kidding."

Hotch looked at her, the smile gone from his face. "What? I'm not allowed to like the idea of my son liking someone? I'm not allowed to like that my son doesn't get scared of every new person that comes into our lives? I'm not allowed to like the face that my son knows there are decent people in the world?"

"That's not it… Do you remember her?"

"What? Of course I do, I see her everyday."

"Not Lex," she said through gritted teeth. "Haley."

Hotch looked away. "How can I forget?"

"Remember what you said to her on March 5th, '84? You told her you'd forsake all others."

"And we both agreed 'till death did us part, but she didn't hold tight on that one did she?"

Jessica slapped him. They stood there for a moment, stunned. "I should go."

"Yeah, please do." Hotch made a bee line for the fridge.

* * *

Lex knocked on Garcia's door. Garcia was dressed for bed, but let her friend in. "Remember Jack's birthday party? What you said about Hotch?"

Garcia grinned. "I didn't say anything about Hotch."

"What you implied?"

"I didn't imply anything about Hotch." Garcia cut Lex off before she could say anything. "I merely described your perfect man who picks up clothes for you and has a little boy. You picked up Hotch from that."

Lex smiled and bit her lip. "We kissed." She flopped down on the couch.

Garcia sat too, too shocked to stand. "Details." Lex described everything. Garcia looked disappointed. "That's it… No tongue?"

Lex shook her head. "He was the perfect gentleman."

"No weird… double jointed… abnormally long tongue?"

"No he's perfect. He didn't hold me too tight either."

"Look at you… You're smitten."

Lex blushed. "Pen… I think I really like him… I shouldn't but…" Lex put her head in her hands.

Garcia wrapped an arm around her shoulder. "What's wrong?"

"Things are different around him… When I stayed at his… It was nice having someone taking care of me… it was nice having lunch with him and Jack. Having him defend me. I… I don't know…"

Garcia took her hand. "What's wrong sweetie?"

Lex shook her head. "I… I feel weird…"

"What is it?"

Lex ran her fingers through her hair. "Remember that case a few weeks back? The rapist who-""Yeah! Kitten… I remember…"

"And I disobeyed Hotch and ran after the unsub and we caught him… But when we got back to Quantico, I asked for his approval for what I had done. I… I grew up, not caring about what people thought about me: about the way I dressed, or my looks, or my attitude… But I find myself… I want to impress him. Jack's birthday… I got dressed up… not for Jack… For Hotch." Lex looked up, tears were in her eyes. "What am I going to do?"

"You breathe… and you remember that _he _kissed _you._" Lex smiled. Garci always knew how to make her friend smile.


	11. Case

Dave smirked as Hotch divulged the details to him on Sunday, while Jack was preoccupied in the living room with a baseball Dave had thrown him.

He nodded as Hotch finished. "So…how was it?"

Hotch hesitated. He had thought about it all night and the best he came up with was 'nice'. Dave frowned at him. "What? All I ever had were nice kisses with Haley… Ok, so maybe this was better than nice."

Dave played with the frayed edges of a nearby dish towel. "Rough?"

"No, not rough. Better than nice."

"Are you going to kiss her again?" Dave glanced at Aaron. He was smiling.

"I don't know." Aaron cleared his throat.

"You like her?"

Aaron stopped what he was doing. "Yes. But you don't understand." His gaze moved over to Jack. "He got really upset when he heard us talking."

"That was different…"

"Maybe it was… But I can't date someone my son doesn't feel safe around. And I can't date Lex because she'll feel like…" He paused, searching for the right words. "I'm using her as a last resort."

Dave grabbed his jacket and stood. "I'd better go. Thanks for dinner. You know…" He flicked Hotch a coin. "Maybe you should you leave it up to fate? Bye, Jack."

"Byes, Uncle Dave…" Jack ran into the room. He looked curiously as his Dad threw a coin in the air and smiled. "What's wrong, Daddy?"

Aaron looked down at Jack. "Nothing… Wanna play?"

* * *

When Aaron walked in the next morning, Morgan, Reid, Lex and Emily were in the kitchen. He said a general hello and walked up to his office. He sat down and spent the bones of an hour firing paper into his paper basket. There was a knock on the door.

"Come in."

JJ stopped moving as a paper ball flew past her just missing the basket. Hotch frowned. "Nice shot."

"Thanks… Is it ready?"

"Yeah… I'm not taking the fall…"

"I will… Um, if she's not happy about it, I will explain everything to her."

JJ nodded and led him out to the conference room. Hotch sat between Garcia and Reid. Lex, sitting across from him didn't look up at him.

"Three nights ago the fifth murder in a string of crimes took place in…" JJ looked from Hotch to Lex. "… Barehaven."

Lex's head shot up. "What?" she asked alarmed.

JJ pressed the button on the remote.

"Josephine Arlington, aged 21, received severe blows to the abdomen before being hit fatally on the head with a blunt instrument," Hotch informed the team. "Now, the last four murders have been surrounded by several other crimes… theft, arson, rape, assault and battery. The unsub does a pick 'n' mix."

Garcia looked around, confused. "Pick 'n' mix."

Reid turned to her. "It's when an unsub will commit several different crimes, not necessarily keeping one of them the same all along."

Emily nodded. "He gets off on the fear he creates."

"There's a minor problem." Everyone looked at Hotch. "Strauss doesn't think much of the case… she thinks we can work it from here and close it fast. I think differently."

"So what are we going to do?" Emily asked.

"Reid, Lex, Garcia, Strauss and I are going to fly out today, prove that there is something to worry about. The rest of you can fly out tomorrow."Garcia groaned. "Oh this should be fun… She's never forgiven me for the 'Talk Dirty' incident." Everyone in the room laughed.

"Um," Reid began, "I don't feel very comfortable working with Strauss either… um, I said some things I shouldn't have an-"

"Fine… Dave, you instead."

While JJ, Reid, Emily, Morgan and Garcia, who flashed Lex a suggestive grin, filed out of the room, Dave whispered something to Hotch, while he turned off the screen, and Lex sat rooted in her seat. Hotch noticed as he turned to leave and, instead, crossed the room to her. He leaned on the desk in front of her.

"Um, listen ab-"She looked up at him, hurt in her eyes. "You should have told me." She stood up and walked out of the room.

**A/N: Barehaven is a madey upey place from my head :D**


	12. Return

Lex sat at the back of the plane playing snap with Garcia, while the older agents discussed the case at the four seater. The girls had attempted to keep up a conversation via mouthing, not wanting to give Strauss any ammo, but had given up when they realised neither was very good at lip reading.

Garcia looked up and suddenly dropped her cards on the table. "Water."

"What?" Lex followed her with her eyes and saw Hotch heading for her. She began chewing her gum more slowly and ran her fingers through her hair and turned towards the window. Hotch placed his hand on her shoulder and looked at her.

"May I?" He gestured at the vacant seat.

"Yeah, but Garcia'll be back soon so…"

"I should've told you. I-I don't know- I was just trying to protect you."

"You wanna hear a secret?" Hotch looked at her and nodded. "I'm a big girl."

Hotch sighed. "I figured that out…" He froze. "That came out wrong." He stood up. "If you need anything, please tell me."

Lex managed to suppress her smile until he had walked away.

* * *

While Strauss had accompanied Hotch to reception, Lex looked around the room. "Right, if anyone needs me, I'll be right over there…" She pointed to the fish tank. "…before anyone sees me."

"Lex?" Lex spun around, deflated, hearing Rossi mutter under his breath joyously, "Too late." She slid her shades up on top of her head

Lex came face to face with a short brunette girl about her age who, upon reaching her, pulled her into a hug. Lex slowly hugged her back. "Claire." She smiled. "How've ya been?"

"Good. You?"

"Not doing too bad."

"I hear you're a fed now." Lex nodded. "Are you here because of the murders?"

Lex took a deep breath. Not sure what exactly to divulge. She glanced over Claire's shoulder. Hotch was beckoning her over. "I have to go. Um, look, we'll catch up. Later."

Lex hurried over to Hotch. "Are you alright?" Lex nodded. "Ok, Garcia, you're tackling the locals." Lex's head shot up but she said nothing. _Locals? _"Dave and Lex, I want you to go to the dump site. "He turned to Strauss. "We can go to the station."

The team set off in their separate ways.

* * *

A/N Please support AJ and Paget. Paste this onto your stories: SUPPORT PAGET AND AJ and then sign the petition: .


	13. What happens after Coffee

Hotch looked challengingly at Strauss. He put it to her simply: would the rest of the team be flying out or will innocent lives continue to be lost because she didn't think the case was so important?

"Have your team here by morning," she replied, defeated.

Hotch breathed a sigh of relief.

Dave walked into the room. "Well, one thing we found out about the dumpsite is that they are public places but the killer isn't trying to make his kills public. This guy is all over the place."

Hotch pulled out his phone and began dialling. He glanced past Dave, then looked at him. "Where's Lex?"

"She headed back to the hotel."

* * *

Lex walked into the hotel room. Garcia was sitting at a desk filled with computers. One of the beds contained computers and files. "I don't like this. Rummaging around in people's lives. It's your job. The profilers job."

"Yeah, well, when Hotch gives an order you do it."

"Hotch? We're calling him Hotch now?"

Lex flicked a file over. "It was a moment of madness, I don't know what came over me." Lex sat on the unoccupied bed, flicking through case files, regurgitating random information to Garcia for an hour. She glanced out the window. It was late. The sun had already gone down. She checked her watch: 11.30. "Summer in the country," she muttered. There was a knock on the door. Lex stood up and opened it, greeting Dave and Hotch as they walked in.

"Get anything yet?" Dave directed the question at Garcia.

"No, we've been going over the files but nothing so far," Lex answered. She sat on the bed. "Where's Strauss?"

"En route to DC. Team's flying out tomorrow."

"I'm wrecked. The next few days are going to be full on." Hotch turned to Garcia. "I suggest we call it a night. Café downstairs is still open."

"Did you say caffeine?" Garcia's head shot up.

Lex laughed. "Close enough. I'm in."

Hotch, Lex and Dave walked slowly back up to their rooms. Garcia had caved first and departed after the first coffee. While they waited for the waitress, Dave stretched and decided to call it a night. Hotch stood up and agreed. Not wanting to be left alone, Lex left with them.

Passing Dave's room first, they said goodnight. Passing Garcia's Lex decided to make a quick getaway. "Well, good-" Hotch cut her off by backing her up against the wall and kissing her.


	14. Fears

Lex moaned as he continued to kiss her, rougher than before. This time he let his hands wander down to where her shirt and her jeans were supposed to meet. She wrapped her fingers tightly around his hair as his hands hit her skin.

She could finally feel her senses coming back to her. She wouldn't be able to pull away from him: her head was between the wall and his head. She opened her mouth. "Stop."

He stopped and stared at her before pulling away. "I'mn sorry… I thought…"

"No, that was…"

"Just the other night…"

"It was fine…"

"And we…"

"It was a good kiss…"

"You didn't pull away, I thought I'd chance another."

"I liked it."

They stared at each other. Neither was sure what to say.

"Um…" Lex began."I'm going to go to bed… Maybe we should just forget about this?"

Lex frowned. "Yeah," she said. "No problem," she said sarcastically as he disappeared behind the door.

* * *

Lex sat on the gate up the mountain. The view was beautiful. She remembered the one thing she loved about the place: the silent beauty it had. She hadn't slept last night. The main thing on her mind was being back. The second was Hotch. She still felt his lips on hers; his hands on her. She turned at the sound of footsteps.

Rossi looked around as he strolled. He saw her and smiled. He waited until he was next to her to greet her. Not wanting to disturb the peace. "Hey, kiddo."

"Hi." She looked back out to the sea.

"I'm glad I caught you before everyone else came. I wanted to ask you something."

Lex looked at him, and brushed her hair from her eyes. "Go for it."

"You've been quiet since we arrived. Is everything alright?"

Lex smiled. "You know, I haven't been here since I went to college. Not for Christmas or anything. I liked it. I reinvented myself when I left." She jumped down from the gate and they walked back down. "I was quiet, and such a pushover." She stopped and turned to face him. "Look, I'm not going to get into the tragedy of my life with you. But I'm scared. I don't to go back to the person I was. I like the person I am." She knew it was stupid, but she couldn't help the tears flowing. "I went behind orders and took a killer out on my own." She laughed. "I made out with my boss for Christ's sake."

"Ok, ok," Dave soothed as he pulled her into a hug. "No one can make you be someone you aren't, you hear me?" She nodded. "Lex, do you hear me?"

"Yes."

"Good. Now, frankly, I like this you. I don't think I could handle you being a push over… So, if you ever get scared. Just come straight to me, alright?"

"Alright."

"Come on… the rest of the team will be here soon."


	15. Out in the Open

**Clearing the Air**

Lex stood in the short queue, trying to be inconspicuous. She felt better after her shower and after she had changed into her black skirt suit, powder blue silk blouse and black suede boots. She ordered her coffee, thankful that didn't recognise the woman who served her and waited while she got her coffee, staring out the window. She closed her eyes and tried to clear her mind. It worked for about a minute until someone tapped her on the shoulder. She jumped and spun around.

"Oh, mom, you scared me."

"You scared me. When I heard you were here, I was terrified. I didn't know why on earth you'd be here. I would have thought that if you were coming home I'd hear it from you first." Her mother sat across from her.

"Momma… I'm sorry. I've just been all over the place lately."

"A phone call wouldn't have hurt."

Lex looked down. She smiled a thanks to the waitress as she handed over the coffee. She took a deep breath and vented. "I'm sorry. I should have called. I had every chance to and I didn't because I have a lot on my mind: I have work, the man I've been with for five years has cheated on me, telling me that maybe you and Daddy were right about him all along, and I never want to see his face again but that's impossible, because I am back in this hellhole and…" She looked at her mother. Could she tell her mother that she has feelings for her boss? "I'm all over the place."

"This hellhole is my home. It's your father's home. And it's yours."

"It's where I grew up. It's not my home." She stood up. "I'll see you later."

"Wow, well isn't this a surprise?"

Lex took a deep breath and spun around. "Marie. It's been a long time, hasn't it?" Lex looked past her shoulder. Hotch was outside, crossing the street.

"Yeah. Really, really long. We didn't part on good terms did we?"

"Well, that's in the past."

"I heard about you and Sean… Sorry."

"Oh, things aren't working out."

"Oh, I thought things were over…"

"No, not yet."

Marie scoffed. "He's telling everyone that you're dating an older guy."

"He is?"

"I have to go." Hotch had just walked into the café.

"Are you investigating the murders?"

Lex smiled as Hotch approached them. "No comment. I heard about your career choice."

"I like spreading the news."

"You like to gossip."

"Am I interrupting something?" Hotch asked as he came up to them.

"No, not at all."

Marie grinned broadly at Hotch. "Hi, Marie Downey." She held out her hand.

"Aaron Hotchner." He smiled back and shook her hand, dropping it quickly.

"Marie's a reporter." Lex looked at Hotch.

"It was nice to meet you." Hotch turned to Lex. "We have to go."

"it was good to see you again."

Hotch smiled at Marie. "It was nice to meet you," he repeated, stepping aside to let Lex pass him and placing his hand near enough to her back to send shivers down her spine.

* * *

Hotch watched amused as Lex fumbled with her seat belt. "Goddamn profiler and I can't put on my seat belt."

He laughed. She looked up, her dark hair falling over her face, and smiled. "Let me help you." He placed the belt into the buckle and herd the click.

"Thank you."

He took her hands and locked eyes with her. "Why are you shaking?"

"Lots of reasons. I guess. Anger, discomfort."

"Am I making you uncomfortable?"

Lex looked away and bit her lip. Hotch pulled her to face him. "Lex…"

Lex forced herself to pull away from him completely. "I'm not going to do this."

"Do what?"

"Be your play thing. I'm not going to be the person you sleep with just because I'm the one person you and Jack feel comfortable with."

Hotch turned the keys. "The others will be at the station by now."

* * *

Upon arriving at the station, they found the team already there, scattered around the room.

"Ok, so I did some research and I found out that renting a house is cheaper than renting hotel rooms… There's a place in the village that rents out."

"Fine." Hotch bypassed everyone and shut himself into an office with Rossi


	16. Lead

**Lead**

The team sat scattered around the room. It was getting dark they were getting tired… they were running out of time.

JJ's eyes widened. "Wow… There are a lot of artists around the place."

Lex looked up. "Artists," she murmured. "Arti- that's it. JJ, that's it." She stood up from her place beside Reid on the floor.

"What?" Hotch frowned.

"Summer and Fall here means the BIGGEST art events… there are: writers workshops, art workshops, art classes, poetry readings, art exhibitions… literary events." She turned to Garcia. "Can you pull up the tourist website?" Garcia did. "The dates of all the summer and fall events?" Lex turned and grabbed the victims files. "June 2nd… when was the nearest event?"

"June 3rd."

"July 6th?"

"A week later."

"July 25th?"

"Three days later

"August 4th?"

Garcia looked up at her. "August 11th. That's tomorrow. "

"If we look at all the crimes that took place, two of them will have occurred within a week of the next event: a theft, rape, arson attack and then on the night… a murder."

JJ looked up from the computer screen. "There's only one event tomorrow night. At the high school."

"So what do we do?" Morgan asked.

"Alert the locals," JJ said.

"We can't do that, they'll panic and we'll lose this guy," Rossi stated. "He's all over the place."

"Exactly," Emily piped in, "we don't know what he's going to do. Our priority should be to protect the locals."

"So we go to this thing tomorrow night?" Morgan asked.

"It's the only thing we can do," Hotch said as he stood up.

"And if we're wrong?" Lex asked.

Hotch didn't know how to answer the question


	17. Big steps

"Place hasn't changed much, has it?" Lex turned slowly, smiling. "You were probably smart to get out."

"You could have, Claire. Why didn't you?"

"Fear."

"Barehaven… It always sounded like a contradiction to me."

Claire sat down on the bench beside Lex. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, waiting for my friends… We're going to this event tonight and we didn't come prepared… I'm not fussy." She held up the shopping bag.

"Great to know. But what are you doing back here? I'm sure if you talked to your boss, he'd understand, have let you stay at home."

"Explain what? That this place suffocated me?" The door to the shop opened and Emily, JJ and Garia walked out. "Look, Claire, it was good talking to you. I have to go."

* * *

Lex had no idea how long she had been staring at the painting. She had no idea how she knew, but once Hotch was in her general area, she knew.

She looked back at the painting. "Peace offering." He held out a glass to her. "It's not champagne."

"Thank you." She took a long sip of the drink. In the distance she saw Sean with his arms around Marie, and looked quickly away.

"I'm calling it a night. No one's any use if they're tired. I'm going to go over the case back at the house."

"I'll go with you. Like you said, no use and all."

* * *

Lex took off her shoes as they got into the house. "Lex. Yesterday…"

"Hotch…"

"No… You are very attractive and lately I've been very lonely, and we just seem to have so much in common. And your relationship with Jack is… It's a bonus. When I saw the way Sean was treating you I wanted to beat him. I don't know if this is love or lust but it's something and I want know for sure."

He reached down and kissed her. After that speech, Lex didn't know how to pull away. Not that she could if she wanted to, Hotch was the only thing keeping her up.

He brushed his lips against her ear. "Do you want me to stop?"

Lex shook her head and pulled herself closer to him.


	18. The Morning After

The next morning, Lex woke up. Alone. "Bastard." She pulled her dress on over her head and made her way to the door. Walking out into the hall, she met Emily.

"What are you doing?"

Lex hesitated. "Nothing."

"That's not your room."

Lex leaned across Emily, opened the door to her room and rushed Emily inside. "Nothing happened," she lied. "We were going over the case last night when we left the party and I fell asleep."

"Oh really? How did you get that hickey?" Emily asked, arms folded.

Lex spun around fast and checked herself in the mirror. There were no marks. None that Emily could see. A defeated Lex turned around and faced a triumphant looking Emily. "It meant nothing."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Of course I'm sure."

"You two care for each other."

"It meant nothing."

"Does he feel that way?"

"Yes."

Emily hesitated. "I don't want to see either of you get hurt."

* * *

Lex sat on the bench by the pier, slowly drinking her coffee. She smiled at the mother who passed her, pushing a stroller. _Ironic, _she thought as she stared at the pharmacy bag containing the morning after pill.

"Lex." She turned around and made no reaction when she saw Hotch. "Can I join you?" She didn't reply, just moved her bag and slid over to the further end of the bench. He sat down next to her. "I want to talk to you about last night."

"Funny, I don't."

Hotch frowned. "I thought you enjoyed it."

"It wasn't the worst."

"So what's the problem?" Lex didn't say anything. "I asked you if you wanted me to stop and you didn't. You were the one that pulled me upstairs."

"You're my boss. I was upset, you took advantage."

"I took advantage?"

"And I was naïve to think you meant what you said. That you were actually a good guy and I wasn't just someone for you to get your rocks off with." She lowered her voice when she saw people passing them.

"I did not take advantage of you. You wanted last night to happen as much as I did. And I meant what I said last night. I do feel something very strong for you."

"They call it an erection."

"Well if you want, I can start sleeping with someone else. You should be used to that by now." Hotch bit his lip as he said it. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that—Lex!" Lex grabbed her bag and stormed off.


	19. Talk things through

Lex dried her face with a towel and buttoned up her new shirt. After seeing the three new bodies: it was bad enough that they were young but what he did to them… She pulled her hair back into a ponytail and wiped her mouth again, for good measure.

"Who is it?" she called, not even bothering to look up from the case file when someone knocked on her door.

"Who d'ya think?" Hotch replied. Lex raised her eyes and moved slowly to the door. She had been expecting this visit. _Maybe a little irrational. _She greeted him with a smile. "May I come in?"

"Please." She stepped aside and gestured him in, frowning at the formalities. Something Hotch had picked up on. She shook her head. "I'm sorry. I'm not mocking you. Tired." At that moment, she let out a yawn.

Hotch smiled. "Would you like a coffee? I could bring one up. Peace offering."

Lex smiled and waved off the gesture. "What I need is a shot of adrenaline… I'm sorry for slapping you. I hope it didn't hurt."

"I've been hit by worse." Lex smiled. "I'm sorry." She waited for him to continue but he didn't.

"Why did you have to say those things? We could have just written it off as a one night stand but you said those things."

"I didn't mean any of it." Lex looked at him incredulously. He laughed. "What do you want me to say?"

"The truth. Why."

"Alright. Are you going to tell me that you haven't been feeling something between us lately. That you haven't noticed how we can be around each other? Jessica's been trying to pull me away from you with good reasons; Dave's been pushing me to you with good reasons; and I just wanted my decision of you to be mine. Not theirs."

"So you take me to bed?"

"That wasn't supposed to happen. Not like that. Your turn."

"I've always been independent. I never really had people taking care of me. Not Sean. And it was nice after that incident, to not care how I looked and to just bask in dependence. I don't know." She pushed her hair out of her face and sat on the bed. "But then, you were just lonely. And I figured it was now or never."

Neither said anything for a while. "We could always try it again." Lex raised her eyebrows. "Hear me out. No repercussions. No consequences. If we like it, we work from there. If we don't, there's no big loss."

"That would never work."

"But it might. Small chance, but it still could. What do you say?"

Lex looked at him for a long time. "So let me get this straight. We kiss and then analyse each other's technique?"

"If you want to put it that way."

"And if we don't like what the other says?"

"No repercussions, no consequences; if we don't like what's decided we… maturally voice our concerns. We don't hit each other."

Lex looked down. She was dressed half casually, half professionally. Nothing very attractive. "Fine." Hotch stepped closer to her. "Wh- Now?"

"Why not now? When did you think?"

"When we got back to Quantico but not while we're working a case."

"That's a good point. So, back in Quantico."

Lex nodded as Hotch made his way to the door. _Now, _she thought,_ I get to go back to Quantico and back to my empty apartment after a make out session with Hotch._

* * *

Lex tried to scream when she was awoken the next night but found something constricting her airways.

**A/N Yes My time away is broken. If you ever need an incentive to write, just come up with a bunch more story ideas and force yourself not to write them until you've finished at least one in your queue.**

So I'm pretty happy with this chapter. (I know I'm focusing on Hotch and Lex a lot and they are working a case )

Any quips, any qualms, you know what to do!

xx


	20. Abduction

Feeling the metal against her wrists and the strain in her arms, it didn't take Lex long to piece together that she was cuffed. Trying to scream again, she found that she couldn't and felt the cloth in her mouth. If she could just get it out of her mouth and call for help…

* * *

'Hey,' Morgan greeted as Hotch approached him and JJ. He knew he looked tired but he couldn't do anything to hide it.

'Morning,' Hotch greeted, sipping at his coffee.

'Wait, shouldn't we wait for Lex?' JJ asked as the two men made way for the door.

'No let her in. She needs it and we can work without her for a few hours.' Hotch walked to the SUV, unaware of the look that was shared between JJ and Morgan.

* * *

Lex wasn't sure how long she'd been screaming for but her throat was beginning to get raw. Taking deep breaths, Lex assessed her situation: it was a large enough building, concrete on the walls, floor. She looked up. From what she could make out, the roof was made of tin, as was the door, letting in tiny streams of light. She could smell the sea, but that didn't really help her: they were in a coastal town. For all she knew she could be anywhere, and that terrified her.

'HELP! PLEASE HELP! HEEEEELP!'

* * *

'We need Lex here. We haven't even scratched the surface with the locals.'

Hotch looked at JJ. 'Fine.' Hotch dialled the number and, after a while, frowned. 'There was no answer.' He looked up as Emily and Dave approached them. 'She might still be asleep.'

'Lex?' Dave asked. 'She would have picked up if she were.'

'Maybe she's in the shower,' Emily suggested. 'Why don't we go grab her?'

Hotch watched as she and JJ left the station. Dave stepped up beside him. 'What is it?'

Hotch looked at him. 'Just a feeling.'

* * *

Emily raised her hand to knock on the door. 'She's not in.' The woman they had passed in the hall was looking at them. 'We were supposed to meet up for breakfast this morning but she didn't show. I've been trying to get to her since.'

The woman walked off. JJ and Emily looked at each other. 'Where is she?'

* * *

Lex wasn't sure at what point she'd passed out but when she woke up a candle was lighting from a workspace where her attacker sat at.


End file.
